How much do looks matter?

Have you ever found yourself at a bar or coffee shop when unexpectedly you find yourself smitten by someone?  It’s usually do to a physical attraction, but how much does that attraction matter in our decision-making after that initial feeling?

We asked a group of men and women how much looks matter and who do they believe to be less trustworthy, a good-looking woman or man.  Also, if the better looking someone is, how does it influence their decision pursue a relationship with them.

Below is their response.  The names have been changed for privacy.

Helen, 31:  A handsome guy is harder to trust.  I assume he’s a player and has it too easy and all he wants is something quick. But despite my reservations id go out with the handsome guy and hope for the best.  I’m really attracted to intelligent men but I also want someone attractive.  I also look at everyone I meet as a potential husband, so by the second or third date they don’t meet the qualifications.  Maybe that’s why I’m still single.  I did meet a really handsome guy and he was really smart so it was the perfect combination of the two so I pursued it even though I went against my gut and eventually it came out that he was dating someone else.  I still didn’t stop talking to him and I pretended it was because I saw him as a friend but the truth is that his looks had me.

Eric, 29:  It all depends on the person and how they deal with their own insecurities.  If I had a hot boyfriend I’d always be worried about someone trying to take him from me.

Sandy, 24:  I feel that answers can jaded by our own gender and experiences.  I think a handsome guy would be harder to trust.  I don’t try to make character judgements based on someone’s looks, I base them on my experiences with the person and my gut feeling.

Charles, 38:  That’s a tough one.  I don’t have a rule, but looks definitely matter.  Maybe we’d like to trust good-looking people in general but since I’m a guy I’d say good-looking women.   Of course, I’d rather be with a hot girl but the chances of her getting hit on are much higher.

Linda, 32:  I could never date someone I’m not physically attracted to, but everyone has a different perspective of what’s attractive.  I may think I’m dating someone who is good-looking and others may not.  But I wouldn’t trust anyone differently because someone average could be as much of a cheater and untrustworthy as someone who is handsome. I would base it on getting to know them and their personality to see how I feel about whether or not they have good character, are trustworthy and loyal.

Rebecca, 28:   To me it doesn’t matter because beauty lies in the eye of the beholder.  So when it come to trust, it’s more about personality so it can’t stop me from entering a long-term relationship.  But in general I trust women more than men.

Ellen, 28:  I think a persons own history matters and in order for a long-term relationship to work, a person needs to be mindful and reflective.  Looks would influence my desire to have a relationship for reasons that have nothing to do with trust.   Maybe a handsome guy would more likely be faithful.  He is more used to getting attention from girls and has learned how to handle it, where an average looking guy might veer, when another girl gives him that kind of attention.

Harry, 29:  Is equal an answer? If not I chose the guy.  I think it’s a bad way to analyze the situation but only on that, I suppose I’d rather sleep with a hot girl and have a relationship with a pretty girl.

Allen, 21:  I think that a good-looking girl is easy to trust and form a friendship with.  As for forming a relationship with a guy who is handsome, it can be easy if the right attraction occurs when you first meet.  If a guy is handsome an untrustworthy it’ll show right away.  I think some handsome guys intentionally string people along but others do it unintentionally and don’t mean to hurt you but do it anyways  because they’re confused with what they desire or they’re unsatisfied.

Derrick, 22:  I would find it difficult to trust a beautiful girl because when there’s a beautiful girl many guys pursue her.  She knows she’s beautiful opposed to a very good-looking guy where people will feel more intimidated to talk to him.

Kyle, 23:  I think a good-looking guy is harder to trust.  Because all men want to do is have sex. They want to look good to have sex with more people.  Girls can be that way too, but I think a lot of the time they’re holding their good looks to the standards of other girls so they don’t feel shaded on by them.

Linda, 24:  I think a good-looking girl is harder to trust because in our society, a guy has to come up to the girl and initiate flirtation, a good-looking girl will have a lot of guys come up to her and flirt where most of the time a girl wouldn’t approach a guy, even if he’s good looking as often.

Alex, 35:   It seems to me that there are a lot more hot girls than really handsome guys but it’s probably because I’m attracted to women and I notice them more. Maybe a really handsome guy will be more likely to cheat in early 20’s.  As far as a relationship, I’ve never had an issue with jealousy, I’d date whoever I’m attracted to and have a connection with.  I’ve dated hot girls and didn’t feel insecure, I knew they’d get hit on and probably by guys who were better looking and with more money than me.  My philosophy is if they want to leave me for someone whose better looking or has more money it’s better they leave because I’m not going to be with someone whose easily swayed.  Most of the girls I’ve dated who I though were hot, were very insecure and required a lot of attention and reassurance which made it exhausting but it won’t stop me from dating them.